November 16, 2019
Separation & Divorce
Most people focus on the actual process when there is a divorce and don’ take time to consider about life when it’s all done and dusted. Here are our top tips on how to thrive after your divorce.
You can’t thrive until you have successfully released the negativity that accumulates during your separation and divorce.
It’s not a simple process but something you need to be continuously aware of and work on throughout your divorce so, when it’s over, you’re ready to move on and live your best life.
You’ll never move on until you focus on the most important people in your life – and that includes you.
Remember that you need to be looked after as well, so make yourself a priority and stop focusing on what your ex is doing with their life.
Accept that divorce is a long process and it will have its emotional ups and downs. No two days are going to be the same and it’s completely OK to have a whole range of different emotions at different times (or even at the same time!).
You will work through it though and there is always light at the end of the tunnel; so try to go with the flow and not get stuck on a particular issue or emotion.
If you have kids, start scheduling your time each week. Have a clear outline of what the kids will be doing and where they will be at any given time. This will help you ensure that you stay on top of their needs.
Of course, as with any schedule, allow for flexibility. There will be times when things won’t go according to plan and it’s important not to get fixated on how things should be.
Try to be flexible with your ex as well. Aim to help each other out if the schedule needs to change. This will make everyone’s life a lot easier, and you’ll be acting as a role model for your children.
After a divorce, there is often a competition starts to be the ‘better’ or ‘fun’ parent. This helps no-one, especially your children. Parents need to parent, not be friends with their children. It also can undermine your (or your ex’s) parenting and start causing the kids to play one parent off against the other.
When your divorce is finalised, you’re likely to find yourself with something you may not be used to – spare time.
Use this time wisely. Discover hobbies and passions you’ve lost along the way – whether it’s reading, meditation, golf or surfing. Your mental health will thank you.
Don’t forget to set goals for your future and realistic time frames to achieve them. Goals will help to give you a purpose and something to focus on. It could be something simple like learning how to bake the perfect vanilla sponge or finally overcoming your fear of rollercoasters – whatever you want! The world really is your oyster.
If you’re going through a divorce, speak to us about how family mediation can help you move on quickly and get you thriving in no time.
Family mediation is a cheaper alternative to divorcing through expensive family lawyers. It will also be much more amicable and speedier than going through the courts.
Call Ian today on 0418 928 448 for a confidential chat about your divorce.
Accredited Family Mediator in Perth
My commitment is simple—to help keep separated couples out of the Family Court and minimise their need for lawyers, saving them time, money and anguish. Under my guidance, separated couples are able to Move On with their lives through family mediation.
April 17, 2026
Separation & Divorce
Going through a divorce or separation can feel overwhelming. Alongside the emotional toll, there are practical challenges too—especially when you’re trying to financially separate from your spouse and rebuild your life independently. It’s a time where guidance, reassurance and perspective can make a real difference. This article, written by Perth-based family mediator Ian Shann, highlights […]
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Children
Parenting after separation can feel like uncharted territory. Emotions are often still raw, communication can be strained and trying to co-parent in the traditional sense isn’t always realistic. That’s where parallel parenting has started to gain traction across Australia. More separated parents are turning to this structured approach as a way to reduce conflict and […]
The process was so much quicker and easier than I anticipated – after everything I have heard about lawyers! And it was re-assuring for me to know how much it was going to cost at the start, not when it was all over. Thanks, Ian. I’d recommend you to anyone who wants a solution seeker and quick results.
— Bree F, Fremantle WA
Ian, your patience and persistence really helped us get to an agreement I thought we could never reach. I’d recommend you to anyone who wants to get family issues resolved as painlessly as possible.
— Michael G, Safety Bay WA
Thank you once more for your kindness, wisdom and counsel.
— Georgie N, Wangara WA
Ian worked hard to enable us to reach an agreement. He was always happy to discuss and explain everything we needed.
— Cathy & Steve, Subiaco WA