Most people focus on the actual process when there is a divorce and don’ take time to consider about life when it’s all done and dusted. Here are our top tips on how to thrive after your divorce.
Release The Negative
You can’t thrive until you have successfully released the negativity that accumulates during your separation and divorce.
It’s not a simple process but something you need to be continuously aware of and work on throughout your divorce so, when it’s over, you’re ready to move on and live your best life.
Focus On Yourself (Not Your Ex)
You’ll never move on until you focus on the most important people in your life – and that includes you.
Remember that you need to be looked after as well, so make yourself a priority and stop focusing on what your ex is doing with their life.
Accept The Process
Accept that divorce is a long process and it will have its emotional ups and downs. No two days are going to be the same and it’s completely OK to have a whole range of different emotions at different times (or even at the same time!).
You will work through it though and there is always light at the end of the tunnel; so try to go with the flow and not get stuck on a particular issue or emotion.
Get Used To Scheduling
If you have kids, start scheduling your time each week. Have a clear outline of what the kids will be doing and where they will be at any given time. This will help you ensure that you stay on top of their needs.
Of course, as with any schedule, allow for flexibility. There will be times when things won’t go according to plan and it’s important not to get fixated on how things should be.
Try to be flexible with your ex as well. Aim to help each other out if the schedule needs to change. This will make everyone’s life a lot easier, and you’ll be acting as a role model for your children.
Don’t Try Too Hard
After a divorce, there is often a competition starts to be the ‘better’ or ‘fun’ parent. This helps no-one, especially your children. Parents need to parent, not be friends with their children. It also can undermine your (or your ex’s) parenting and start causing the kids to play one parent off against the other.
Find Your Passions
When your divorce is finalised, you’re likely to find yourself with something you may not be used to – spare time.
Use this time wisely. Discover hobbies and passions you’ve lost along the way – whether it’s reading, meditation, golf or surfing. Your mental health will thank you.
Set Goals for the Future
Don’t forget to set goals for your future and realistic time frames to achieve them. Goals will help to give you a purpose and something to focus on. It could be something simple like learning how to bake the perfect vanilla sponge or finally overcoming your fear of rollercoasters – whatever you want! The world really is your oyster.
If you’re going through a divorce, speak to us about how divorce mediation can help you move on quickly and get you thriving in no time.
Divorce mediation is a cheaper alternative to divorcing through expensive family lawyers.
It will also be much more amicable and speedier than going through the courts.
Call Ian today on 0418 928 448 for a confidential chat about your divorce.