Relationships end for a multitude of reasons but there are some universally common reasons why relationships fail.
Lack Of Trust
Trust is one of the hardest things to earn and one of the easiest to lose. It can take years to develop trust in any loving relationship, in both emotional and financial matters. Losing trust can happen over a long period of time or over small seemingly insignificant issues.
Trust issues might be financial, secrecy and lack of transparency or simply by one partner continually not keeping their word. But trust could also be lost in a flash over any number of matters. It is the glue that binds a relationship; so powerful and yet, so fragile and, without it, there is nothing.
The good news is that trust can be restored if there is genuine remorse from one partner and forgiveness from the other. The key to restoring trust and for virtually any other reason why relationships fail, is the couple’s ability to talk through it – to communicate. And when they succeed, for some reason, restoring faith and trust, often helps to strengthen that bond.
On the other hand, if a couple is unable to talk through any of the many problems they will experience in their relationship, it’s time to pack their bags and go their separate ways.
Infidelity is possibly the most common cause of relationships and marriages breaking down and learning to trust one another after that takes a significant and emotionally draining effort from both partners. It becomes even more difficult if infidelity has been occurring over a period of time, rather than just one partner getting caught in a mad moment of weakness.
Nevertheless, it can have a most devastating effect on any relationship. However, it can be overcome if the desire and the ability to talk through it exists.
They say that money is the root of all evil but the lack of money is often the root cause of many marriage breakdowns. When money is short both partners are on edge and problems somehow seem bigger than they really are. Once again, talking through money issues and separating the needs from the wants, may be the most helpful way of addressing them and preventing them from negatively affecting your relationship.
You may have realised that communication is the key for couples to resolve whatever problem they may be facing. All couples will experience some form of disagreement or frustration with their partners at some stage and poor communication can allow small issues to turn into major conflict, from which there is often no recovery.
Poor communication can also lead to self-isolation where one partner may seek emotional or even physical connection with someone else, sometimes taking the marriage or relationship to the point of no return.
As the chores of day-to-day life begin to set in, it is common for the hopes and expectations of both partners to change. And let’s face it, our needs and wants are constantly changing as are our personalities and outlook on life.
Problems can arise when partners, instead of reassessing their situation, continue to set unrealistic expectations of each other, be they emotional, intellectual, physical or not having achieved a certain level of wealth or status. Sometimes we take knocks in life that we had no control over and just need to pause and take stock before we reboot.
Another problem we all face in this modern age is that we make comparisons with the “perfect relationships” that we are bombarded with on our TV screens, magazines and social media, where our partners fall way short and don’t measure up to these false perceptions. Don’t be fooled by what you see online.
Even though both partners may be on the same page and striving to achieve the same things in life, there could easily be a difference in their priorities. This should not cause major problems but often they do.
Once again, talking through the issues and agreeing to prioritise goals, whatever they may be, is the best way to resolve these problems. Both partners need to make compromises and give each other enough leeway in decision making, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.
If you need help moving on from the end of your relationship, and don’t want to drag things out in Family Court, it’s time to consider divorce mediation.
Call Ian now for a confidential discussion on 0418 928 448.