There’s plenty of advice for women when it comes to separation and divorce, but what about men?
Sometimes it feels like men are left to their own devices when it comes to separating and getting divorced, but the truth is they experience the same range of emotions that women do and there are some simple things that men can do to help them cope with their separation and life beyond it.
Here are 5 tips for men during separation from Perth’s divorce mediation specialist, Ian Shann.
Don’t Bottle Things Up
It’s no secret that many men can be notorious for bottling up their emotions and trying to deal with them on their own, or worse, ignore them completely.
This is not a good way to deal with your separation.
There’s only so much one person can take before they need to let it out, and talking to someone you trust is an ideal outlet for your emotions.
A problem shared is a problem halved – it may be corny but it’s true!
Make Time For Your Friends & Family
After separation, you might feel like you are alone but make sure that this doesn’t become the norm for you.
Make time to see your family and friends and try to make it at least a semi-regular thing.
Whether it’s watching the footy or hanging out with your nephews, or grabbing a pint with your mates, these times spent with loved ones are so important for your mental health during this stressful time.
Avoid Badmouthing Your Ex In Front Of Your Children
As much as you might want to let rip on your ex and their behaviour, never do it in front of your kids.
You need to remain calm and neutral in front of them when it comes to all things related to your divorce.
Get Help When You Need It
Recognise that in some situations you might need to get help.
It could be asking a family member to pick up your kids from school, askng a friend to make dinner if you have to work late, or it could be getting help with your mental health.
There is no shame in seeking counselling if it feels like everything is really hard and you’re struggling to keep up the illusion that everything is fine.
Although it’s changing, there is still an overwhelming perception that talking about your feelings is ‘weak’ and that you shouldn’t do it. Don’t let that influence your decision to ask for help if you feel like you need it.
Take Care Of Yourself
You can’t take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself. It’s like when you’re on a plane and the emergency procedure is demonstrated – you need to put your own oxygen mask on before you start helping other people with theirs.
Make sure you have time for yourself, whether it’s a round of golf with your friends or an hour to watch your latest episode of that Netflix show you’re loving right now.
Self-care is super important during separation as it can so easily become a time for wallowing in your own self-pity, instead of using that time to focus on yourself, your health and your mental health.
Need a family mediation specialist in Perth to help you find an affordable and amicable way to separate?
Get in touch online now or call Ian on 0418 928 448.