Divorce is hard – no matter how amicable the separation. It isn’t exactly what you had planned!
Your whole world will be different – from your daily routine to your long-term goals. So it’s only natural to feel a degree of loneliness once you separate and contemplate your divorce.
As someone who has been through a divorce and has helped countless separating couples navigate their way through their divorce mediation, here are my own tips on how to deal with the sense of loneliness after divorce.
How To Deal With Loneliness After Divorce
Acknowledge Your Emotions
After any divorce or separation, especially from a long relationship, it’s only natural for both partners to experience some sense of loneliness. Over and above, they have to deal with grief, anger, disappointment and, often, financial stress.
It is easy to be overwhelmed by all these emotions and drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. But somehow, millions of people have learned to manage this situation and come out on the other side. No reason you cannot do the same.
The first step is to acknowledge and accept these emotions as part of the healing process but not to let them take over your life. Taking time to grieve is a vital part of the process but don’t take take too long. Soon enough, you will realise that there is life after divorce and time to take action and set yourself free.
Get Out There & Socialise
During your brief period of isolation, you may have neglected close friends and family. These are the people that care and love you the most and now is the time to get out and spend time with them. Do not waste it by discussing your ex or wallowing in the past; the time for that is over – it is now time for laughter, joy and friendships.
Whatever you do, don’t pursue immediate deep and meaningful relationships to relieve your loneliness. Rather, concentrate on meeting people and making new friends. There are many ways of doing this. Invite people over for dinner, meet somewhere for coffee or join work colleagues on an outing, whatever, but get out and socialise.
Start A Project
Starting a new project is bound to introduce you to different people where new friendships can be formed. They can be anything that interests you or makes you happy. A small DIY project around the house, starting a new business or driving a fund raiser for some worthy cause could help you feel useful as well as connected to others.
Find A New Hobby
There could be some hobby you always wanted to do, but never had the time. Well, that time is now!
Possibilities are endless. Go on hikes around your area, get your yoga on, join a local club, learn a new skill or just listen to your favourite music. These are all therapeutic activities to help reduce stress.
Make Sure You Exercise
Exercise boosts endorphins making you feel and look good and gyms are great places to meet like-minded people. What are you waiting for?
Make A Bucket List
Creating a bucket list of all the things that you always wanted to do, is a sure way of focusing on the future and not delving in the past. No matter how out of reach they may seem right now, write them down.
Get A Pet
Scientists tell us that caring for pets, especially dogs, eases loneliness and reduces stress by encouraging exercise and playfulness. They can be faithful companions, constantly reminding us that we are loved.
Make sure you are ready to be a responsible pet owner – a dog is for life, not just for Christmas.
No matter how sorry you are feeling for yourself, there are people that would love to be in your position. Look around and you’ll find them, everywhere.
Helping someone less fortunate than you by joining a volunteer group can be rewarding and a wonderful morale booster. It’s a great way to interact with kind and like-minded folk too.
Start A Gratitude Jar
Whenever you are feeling down, it is always a good idea to count your blessings. If you need a constant reminder, write them down on pieces of paper and throw them into a gratitude jar.
Start with your health, without which, nothing else matters. You have a home? A job? Some money in the bank? Can live fairly comfortably? Have kids or family that love and support you? Then you’re more fortunate than thousands of others.
Find A Support Group
There are millions of divorced or lonely people out there, many of them in our own area. The good news is that there also many support groups to help such people. Seek them out and join them, if you are struggling.
Ask For Help
We are lucky to be living in an age where professional help on virtually any problem, is so easily available. If you find yourself struggling to cope, why hesitate to seek help? Specialised therapists in your area are just a click away. Use them if you need them!
Hopefully you’ve found these tips on how to deal with loneliness after divorce helpful.